Joke of the day - smile required....

So Weeble Wobbles, but they dont fall down, amazing feat of toy man ship, and hence top heavy...so cant say that boobs can carry you, but can do a weeble wobble........

Bolton Review

So, its 1.29 am, got in from Bolton on a wednesday night

Think the words Titty tattooes, god so horrible, and the lack of english language, just make me a snob, so much so paid 30 quid for a cab home to my nice cosy bed....

So bolton I salute you.....

Foo Fighters - Amazing Album

Walking After You - Amazing words and guitar...............


Tonight Im tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud
Things just wont do without you, matter of fact
Im on your back, Im on your back, Im on your back

If you walk out on me, Im walking after you
If you walk out on me, Im walking after you

If youd accept surrender, Ill give up some more
Werent you adored
I cannot be without you, matter of fact
Im on your back, Im on your back, Im on your back

If you walk out on me, Im walking after you
If you walk out on me, Im walking after you

Another heart is cracked in two, Im on your back

I cannot be without you, matter of fact
Im on your back, Im on your back, Im on your back

If you walk out on me, Im walking after you
If you walk out on me, Im walking after you
If you walk out on me, Im walking after you

Another heart is cracked in two, Im on your back


This is one amazing album on repeat at moment....in my house constantly but love this track reminds me of me, fool..............................

Out - Bolton

So cold winter night, and about to depart for Sunny Bolton, home of Peter Kay and northern humour, where girls wear little and talk funny, and eat pies a lot, as well......

Invites being asked for anyone that wants to go see The Producers so want to see this show...

Anyway full report tomorrow on Bolton, the night out, watch this space....need to be up at 7 to go to Brum land tomorrow, and then sit on the motorway on calls on the way home back to the land of the rising rain.....

Marx Brothers - If you need to smile....

Chico- Can he live in NY on $3?
Groucho- Like a prince. Of course he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince. 

Groucho, Chico in A Night at the Opera (Movie)

I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Groucho Marx in Duck Soup (movie)

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?
Woman: Really?
Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere

Groucho Marx in A Night in Casablanca (Movie)

So if you cant tell I love the Marx Brothers, and cant beat a wet windy sunday afternoon
on the couch, fire blazing with some classic comedy, some of the side ripping lines delivered
in a film by Groucho Marx......

If you have never been subjected to them, rent a film and if you dont laugh, my god
go see a doctor.......

Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere

Groucho Marx in A Night in Casablanca (Movie)

My Name is Earl

So, X girlfriend of mine introduced me to some interesting aspects in a relationship, some involved gymnastic movements and very very late nights......others were giving me a distinct lack of trust......so some good, some bad....

one thing though, was, my name is Earl....one of the best tv programmes around and has to be seen by everyone, whilst also has Catalina in it as well .... so watch it, laugh and remember Karma, its so true.....

The Kid - and the play

So the kid is learning his lines for Xmas play, he plays John...who has a sister called Jo, they are talking about presents for xmas and what they are going to get, some serious acting work going on here, debating about styles of presentation and how to carry across the part......

Stressed is not the word.....

My god, this is like a Shakespeare presentation, cant wait for the day......proud dad at the front, watching the Kid act his heart out........

Top Bargain

So bargain of the day then, bought to keep me entertained whilst driving, who needs to keep an eye on the road on todays motorway, when they are moving at 3 mph for any distance.....

So tested them out with Happy Gilmore, absolutley fantastic, 50 quid off at Argos, had to hunt for a whole 2 miles, so jordans bday present done, from a few months ago and not going away anywhere for a while .....but when I do, oh the joy peace are we there yet no more......

Fast and Furious Corsas..

So a little dedication to the burberry crew, if its a 30 mph limit, that means I will drive at 30 mph not attempt to accelerate and catch up with your vastly overpowered machine, due to your twin exhaust piece from halfords for 2.99 giving you an extra 220 BHP.. oh and also when you do the wanker sign and my son is in the car, have some respect....oh no you wear burberry, spit on the floor and think that its cool ....

So hats off to the dedicated Chavs in their neon lit beasts... we salute you...

Footballers Wives

So living close to the cheshire set, I see lots of footballer wives types out and about, normally in the Living Room, and drinking champagne, but just wanted to highlight, their parking skills, and the cars they drive...

So went to Asda this evening and saw a school run mobile parked over 3 car parking spots, with
a Footballer wife, loading it up to the hilt with two bags of shopping and her gucci hand bag.....

Of course the reverse function of A school run mobile is disabled, and unable to work, thus why do you need that when you take up the whole car park and can maneouveur around easily.

So hats off to the cheshire set...

Pay Day

Hooray today is the day, that is top, well for about 2 days, then all starts accelerating out.....


Also if any tax people read this, where does that whopping big chunk go to, paying for smoke rooms or the large latte that I see being passed around the local tax office, with big fat cigars and I notice the amount of sports cars increasing, or is that just my imagination......

well off to get the kid....pay the kids club and head of to chavtastic.......asda....fight over the trolley and get my ankles beaten to death....by pink rinse brigade....

au revoir

New Art - well chuffed...

New piece of art today, TK max bargain bought some jeans and shirts as well, the kid wanted 360 controller, as bloke afternoon famine or feast, houseful, and now got to do my hair to go out and take the nephew round town, with the testesterone crew......

But moi chuffed, bargain, landing had to move pictures around, and cant buy anymore no more space.,......need a larger house if I do...

Men in Black

Both working hard, in the week jordan is an investment banker and refuses to drink anything less than champagne in a superman glass of course, whilst his father slaves a living talking hot air and posing in vastly bright shirts that annoy his neighbours due to the constant reflectin when in the ironing pile, one comment was from an irate person

"Its like a fashion parade show, they prune themselves, then hang up the shirts, this cant be legal can it, to own such bad shirts ? "

No other comments were available, due a blight of lack of fashion taste...

When I was a lad

So when I was a lad, and well that was in the alcopop era, a tattoo was acquired after a drunken night out, and a break up.... still got it, damm thing wont shift off, but hey cant see it, its on my back......

Lesson for all, tattoos do hurt, a lot, do not have done if you pass out watching casualty

Merci bien

A fab evening, lovely food, conversation and banter, and hope my waffle of life universe and what I do at work, didnt cause you to much of a tension headache, also for getting into the chav tastic motor, brave brave woman .... and for being miss K ...

To assist those of us who cant sit on their Computer chairs..

I go to work each day and spend most of my time in a very ordinary looking open plan office doing a fairly typical office job sat at a desk with a computer. Then one day a large important looking man came into our office and said he was going to carry out work place assessments to ensure that we comply with health and safety regulations. He came over to my desk and asked if he could "observe my working practices for the next few minutes". After a short time he told me that I wasn’t sitting properly, my phone was not properly positioned and my monitor was at the wrong angle.
He then showed me how to sit at my desk properly (having used a chair for the last 28 or so years of my life I thought I had it covered), how to hold my mouse correctly and the correct position for my screen. I know this is done to avoid RSI etc. and after a quick chat and a bit of a telling off I had to sign a form to say that I had read the guidelines on "using my workspace". He then set off to assess the next member of staff. Then the very next day he came back in and we all have to learn how to lift a cardboard box in the correct fashion. Of course all this was to make sure we comply with those health and safety regulations. Personally I thought it was all a bit silly.
However it turns out my chair actually isn’t any good for me and a new one has been ordered at a cost of around £500! I have to say it is much more comfy than the old one, but it’s come out of our budget and my manager is fuming with me now! I think that money was earmarked for the Christmas party or something, so now I’m the least favourite person in my team and all because some bloke said I slouched a bit! So don’t worry about the leaky pipe in the gents, or that gas like smell coming form the basement storage on the first floor or the crazy employee that insists on driving into the company car park at 100mph, hand braking to a stop inches from the car next to him. Don’t worry about the bloke who regularly has a quick fag out by the fire exit or indeed the dubious looking cleaner that you are sure is nicking stuff from your desk. Oh no, you want to make sure you sit at your desk in the correct manner! Unfortunately no Chavs were hurt in writing this documentary. Just to show you how dangerous it came be, I roved the offices of the USA where it has been proven that this is a dangerous area to explore, attacked and beaten I escaped with this footage.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YciJQGq94qg

Iron Gate - Sums it up nicely .....

How can we trust love, and be sure it will last?
We gave our hearts to others, many times in the past.
We shed many tears, and built many fears.
And now we're afraid to let our hearts go.
Because of the pain we've come to know.

But if we are to love again, we have to take the chance.
And trust our hearts, our only guide, to find that true Romance.
So if we hide the Rose from the light, we'll never see it grow.
But if we plant it in the sun, we know the Rose will glow.

So tear down the Iron Gate you built so high and open up the door.
The love you find may be the kind, that you've been searching for.
We know that deep within there is a special part.
And we know for love to live, there has to be a spark.
And when that spark, grows to a flame.
The heart we gave is never the same.

Can You See It In My Eyes?

Can You See It In My Eyes?
by Sandy Fioretti


You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I love you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.

Men - Which one am I - I know the answer !!!!

Guess which one I fit in.....
and its not no 1 ;-) 

1.The nice men are ugly.
2.The handsome men are not nice.
3.The handsome and nice men are gay!!!!
4.The handsome nice ,and hetrosexual men,are married.
5.The men are not so handsome ,but nice ,have no money .
6.The men who are not so handsome ,but are nice ,with
money think we are only about their money .
7.The handsome man without money are after our money .
8.The handsome men ,who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual, dont think we are beautiful enough ...
9.The men who are some what handsome somewhat nice,and
have some money and thanks God are heterosexual,are
shy .... AND NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
10.The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative..

Poems he wrote - Some that I wrote

  The First Kiss

Fingers brush her hair, embrace her neck
Arm around her waist, fingers, briskly touching her spine
Soft lips, embrace each other
Souls connect, messages exchanged
The tenderest heart, Shielded by one so strong
Fills full of hope and light

Bonds tighten, trust locked in
Lips seperare, eyes lock,
Gentle hands stroke her face
Feelings opened and shared
Memories locked never to be gone,
The Place The Time The First Kiss

Poems he wrote

  Souls



Hands passs, feather touches exchanged

Eyes darting, looking to lock and bind

Souls connect through the channel

Unseen ropes tied

Souls bound together until eternity

Touches pass, tingling sensations felt

Knowledge shared, no words spoken

Unbreakable respect and love bound with rope

Two souls linked, distance overcome

Boundaries overcome, problems shared

Pain halved, Love doubled

Happiness to infinity

Two souls locked together

Unbreakable

Poems he wrote

  Souls



Hands passs, feather touches exchanged

Eyes darting, looking to lock and bind

Souls connect through the channel

Unseen ropes tied

Souls bound together until eternity

Touches pass, tingling sensations felt

Knowledge shared, no words spoken

Unbreakable respect and love bound with rope

Two souls linked, distance overcome

Boundaries overcome, problems shared

Pain halved, Love doubled

Happiness to infinity

Two souls locked together

Unbreakable

Poems he wrote - Some that I wrote

   Lost


From the moment I looked into those deep eyes
I was truly lost
My heart is yours, its you that I hold on to
Your smile gives me sparks and tingles
I loose myself in your eyes,
I know we cannot share the same path of life together
So Ill always look out for you, thats what I will  do.
Because I know we cannot be together..
My love for you is buried deep, burning away,
knowing that someday
it will die, for you will be in the arms of another.

Chasing something to be together, and if cant overcome anything to be together, then
it cant be right in the first place......


Doorway

Standing in your doorway
Once wide open and bright
Now, locked and dark
Im still standing in your doorway
Searching for that key
Hopeing one day, to find the door open
Bright light shining intensley
And watch it shut behind me
Forever Together

Finding the one .....

Poems he wrote - Some that I wrote

   I miss


I miss glancing at you when you are not looking

I miss a smile that is for me

I miss my eyes locking, and knowing but now words exchanged

I miss arms around me filling me up

I miss my soul being connected

I miss no matter where we are, we are linked

I miss craving you

I miss loving you to infinity and beyond

I miss sharing

I miss being loved and not thought of

I miss the tingly feeling

I miss my best friend

I miss the real me

But most of all



I miss you


About the person you love more than any in the world .....

Dinner out

Me and the Kid, spent top night out, got dressed up and he wore his baseball cap wrong way round, I just drove the pig, and paid for it all, after he had thrown himself around in the smelly feet kids area, and still ate the pub away, where does the kid put it, wouldnt share his banana split as well, sorted that out.....Dad rules.... part I, thow will share thy pudding.... so good night, then had to do packing and ironing....and in dad mode ....

Kid wouldnt have his pic taken, for this, said he was to blingin cool....

Al Green - How can you mend a broken heart...

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow,
but I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow,
No one said a word about the sorrow

One of the most awesome songs written, been playing loads today, whilst doing work, yeh working need to pay for the food tokens somehow...

Me and the kid (copyright stolen from you know who) out for dinner tonight and have to get dressed up, full spillage report later..

The Kid - best pic ever....

So Darling harbour, me and the kid in sydney for xmas, and this is my fav pic of all time, as remember the night, playing hop scotch in the harbour, and just the laugh we had, no money on earth could buy that...time.....

so yeh he is cute and going to melt hearts when he is older.... loving caring and polite, instilled virtues into him and he respects all......and hugs me when I need it...

The Kid

The kid, aged 8 in his school uniform........

The Car - a piece of atanomy replacement , yes Andrea I know...

Yes its a car, that Ive always wanted, and enjoy, it doesnt make me a better person, doesnt mean Im better, doesnt make my knob bigger, its just a CAR.... ok.... that I have a passion for.....and Im not a snob...born in wythenshawe and work my arse off to pay for stuff.....and to give me and the kid a good life...and yeh driveway being done next year, to cold now.....

A beautiful woman

This is my fav piece, wish I had bought the original, see the red rose, and the lady who poses
is as beautiful in real life as in the picture......

One of my passions

So Im a sucker for Art, if I like it I buy it, now that is bad, so decided to share my tastes on here....so no mickey taking now, about wearing a smoking jacket and slippers, and sipping sherry....share my taste and await the abuse, also need to pay the lady at the art gallery as well....else could be paying back in favours of some kind......

Tokyo Carslberg man